When people go through a traumatic experience usually their closest family and friends and even acquaintances are right there to show support and send their love. Most of the time it’s very helpful and kind, but when you’re trying to recover and recuperate from whatever experience you’re going through there is this unwritten rule you’re supposed to reach back out to those people who have been extremely supportive and caring. As much as their love and help is appreciated, it can be exhausting and almost take away from your recovery while trying to keep tabs on everyone who wants to show support. It’s almost a burden or a to-do list. Not that we don’t want to reach out to those people and tell them how we’re doing to give them updates, etc., but it can be very tiring on top of whatever you’re going through.
There’s an expectation you’ll keep everyone informed so they can have their own peace of mind while you’re just trying to get through whatever it is you’re going through. And it’s okay to not respond or get back to those people. Do it in your own time. If they truly care and know you then they won’t be offended you’re not tending to their own selfish need to know everything that’s going on. It’s okay to be selfish during a time like this. It’s okay to do what you need to do and make those people wait. Odds are they’ll still be there and be understanding as ever. Give yourself a break every now and then; no matter what you’re going through. Something big or small. We put too much pressure on ourselves to keep up with everyone and it’s okay to disconnect and do what you need to do for yourself.
Also, if you’re not close to me and you do something nice because you’re a friend of a friend or a parents’ friend then don’t expect a huge thank you for your efforts of support for the candy you sent because you’re trying to suck up to the person you’re actually close with. It’s amazing how people expect to be recognized for their nice gestures during your time of need. When I’m grieving or recovering I don’t need the burden of thanking you nor should there be that expectation. People love getting recognition for being nice or helpful instead of actually being helpful. The acts are appreciated, but don’t do anything with the expectation of reciprocation.
^^ Blu Jay